The Power of Holding Back


The power of holding back feelings is just a common habit we all do in our lives.

Why do we tend to hold back feelings?  It’s just a bit sad that we cannot speak what’s in our hearts and say what our inner voice is saying. What are we afraid of? Are we afraid of rejections?  Are we afraid of the outcomes? I don’t know the answers myself because I do this myself too.

To speak up, to voice our opinions, our feelings just seem to be too much, too overwhelming.  Speaking up for your own rights, speaking for what’s right to support your peers, confessing the truth to somebody you deeply love or opening your heart to someone you deeply liked for a while, requires us to have a fear to wait for the outcomes, the fear of the negative outcomes, fear of pain and hurt and … the list goes on, you know?

Holding back is extremely hard because you start to get restless in constantly thinking about  the what if’s, the could haves. I think holding back makes people put in so much energy in thinking and asking yourselves this “If I had told the truth or spoken up, I wonder where would I be now? How would my friends or peers think of me?” Then on the other hand you would have to be prepared for outcomes that you must face, regardless (the bad and the good). You would have to be prepared by dealing with outcomes, by telling and critically thinking to yourself: “Ok. this happened, this is how I feel now, but what’s next.. where do I go from here?” I know this method isn’t easy because sometimes the outcomes can struck you hard and you need time to heal and then deal with it afterwards.

Holding back is simply you hiding your true self from the universe.  It’s just sad to see that so many of us have to hold back because of fears, to prevent problems, feeling disappointed, being a disappointment or many more.

Holding back only exists because it’s risky, people don’t want to make life difficult by screwing up something that could cost their career or professional business relationships, religion, or personal relationships (girlfriend, boyfriend, friendships, relationships within the family, etc) in general. or online/internet relationships (facebook, twitter, youtube… etc) or blogs sites.   They don’t want to have to deal with pain or any problems. Yes, I have to admit, that sometimes holding back is a smart thing to do but not all the time, you know what I saying?

If we all continue to avoid the truths or feelings or whatever it is that we need to put out there, I don’t think we can truly be happy and free, I guess. It’s risky because we just cannot admit that once we do cross that line of the truth, we will end up losing the people we love or admire or just costing your life.

At the same time, when you start to realize that life isn’t perfect and that God put you on this earth for a good reason, then you’d know that the people who stay with you and the new friends you gain are the ones you should be surrounded with and those people respect you. They are the ones who accept the truths and accept you for who you are.  I think that’s makes you free and makes you grow to be a person you set yourself to be.  Holding back isn’t always a healthy. At some point, you can’t hold it in and at some point, you will have to speak up and do it for your own good; You are your own person.

Holding back is so complex; sometimes it’s good to hold back, because life can surprise you when you wait and see what happens for you. Sometimes it’s not always good to say the things you want to say all the time and when you do say those things, you can’t expect people to go with what you say and agree with you all the time. That’s the truth, isn’t it?

The way I see it, life is about balance and choices. You have to balance your emotions, your decision-makings, you have to make choices to choose what you will do with your life at this particular time and control it.  Holding back is good for a minute, but when you hold back forever or for too long, then that’s just something you need to deal with. You can’t live on with your life, holding back.

In life you gotta find balance in knowing the time to confront things and the time to wait and a time to reflect, recollect your thoughts. You can’t go on in life pleasing others, or fearing what others say about you each time you want to state what’s on your mind or how you feel. Everybody is human you know. It’s human nature.

Just know this:

Ecclesiastes 3

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

When I’m really lost, or really hurt, need to peace in myself or whatever…  I read this passage to calm me down and let go and breathe. I look at my situation and just understand that God has a plan for me, I gotta heal myself and just let whatever the situation (I may be going through).. just be. I am only writing this because these are just my thoughts. I’m not telling people what to do. I’m just expressing my opinion.

2 thoughts on “The Power of Holding Back

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