Had my last session of counselling today. I felt good about it. I was reflecting about the last time I had my first last session of counselling was in the early Spring of last year. What makes this (last) one of today would be different? I knew that dealing with a mental illness isn’t a game. I was honest to myself and I needed help once more.
On this last day, I felt a lot better and prepared this time. I felt at peace you know? I was ready to go. My cousnellor said that I have changed so much and the way I handled situations were so much better than when I started. It felt so good to hear someone said that to me. Counselling wasn’t even about depression for me this time. It wasn’t. It was another new level. I have gotten used to challenging myself fighting against it to a point where I can’t remember the last time I was serverly depressed. I learned how to deal with my situation. The only way to deal with it was to just be. Let the emotions ride and evaporate. It was about getting my voice heard and figuring out where do I go from whatever I was going through at the time.
Sometimes you just be doing your thing and you don’t have anyone telling you that you’re doing a great job and they can see it. I learned so many techniques to self-love, self-help myself and learn to see things the way they are without assumptions and overthinking.
I still sit and ask myself how did I go through this and be able to focus in school, fitness and self care? It was my mindset and it’s about choosing battles. If I’m stressing, I ask myself, why am I here? I came here to finish what I started. Whatever that was, I just hang on and just complete it. When I’m in that zone, I don’t worry about the negatives, the pleasing others, yearning for anything.
At the end of the day, that if I continue to be honest to myself that is good for me and around others without fear and continue to respect others, I’m going to continue on a road that will allow myself to be free and happy.
My experiences with my mental health is different from another person. My reality is not their reality. It is okay to get help and not let shame get in your way. It’s so important not to be too biased about situations that you’re not familiar with or never experienced with. It’s important to understand just because you and I may be going through the situation doesn’t mean our experiences are the same. It’s important to understand how remarkable diversity is. So many different realities of someone else’s life.
When I’m stressed or I’m going through some stuff. I self-reflect even when I’m on the majority side of the situation. I draw, I write, I do whatever it is to let it out. Reminding myself where I am and be mindful about what’s happening around me. Going back to my core self keeps me focused. So even if I may be falling, I am still going to rise and continue to journey of my success and happiness. Stressing about situations that you simply cannot change isn’t going to help you. It’s our reactions and our responses to them will either allow myself to close the doors and walk away respectfully. I mind my business and focus on what is best for me. Counselling to me is a journey toward wellness and writing my opening chapter of my new book. Thanks for reading. – Z